* obviously this doesn’t allow for trades or anything of an unpredictable nature.

Starting off with just a guide: Names at the top, cap hit at the bottom (via CapGeek). RFAs are indicated in green, UFAs are in red, with what I’ll hazard a guess at what their salary will be, should they be granted a new contract before free agency begins in July.

First things first, let’s take out of the equation people that aren’t likely to be re-signed.

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Turco’s the first out the door. He was only brought in as a sort-of stabiliser until Crawford adjusted to the NHL, and he done that pretty damn quickly, ousting Turco from the #1 spot pretty early in the season. So now that he’s not needed, and with Alexandre Salak coming back from Europe to share crease duties, that’s goalies covered, at least at NHL level. At AHL level, both Hannu Toivonen and Alec Richards’ deals are up this year, Toivonen being UFA and Richards RFA. Given how little I know about how they’ll manage things at Icehogs level, I don’t know if either/both of them will be re-signed, or whether Mac Carruth or Kent Simpson will be given a contract to replace one of them. Either way, it won’t affect the Blackhawks’ main 2 choices unless (God forbid) injury strikes, and rules one of them out. In which case, maybe keeping a hold of Toivonen if he can be re-signed for around the same money ($550k) as being cheap and experienced enough to help break in rookies at AHL level.

Also out the door: Ryan Johnson and Fernando Pisani.

I’ll make it known, I’m a fan of Ryan Johnson. He does his job for the Blackhawks, and does it really well: win faceoffs. That’s exactly why he was brought in and that’s exactly what he’s done. Brought in mid-season as a short term veteran acquisition to help win draws, after the departures of John Madden and Colin Fraser in the summer, I don’t believe the hawks were ever looking to keep him beyond this season, thus explaining why he was only offered one year on his contract. Since Frolik’s come in well since he was acquired for Jack Skille, and with Kruger now on the roster after finishing his year in Sweden, he’s now surplus to requirements, at least when Dave Bolland comes back next season, and we have our 4 centers we need.

Fernando Pisani is in a similar position, veteran help to cover until some of the younger talent is ready to make the step up to the big league. Considering that Jeremy Morin and Ben Smith have been given a few glimpses of NHL action this season, I’d wager that Quenneville will probably be giving one of them a spot on the main roster next year, pending training camp performances, or keep them on the Rockford shuttle-bus to save on cap space instead of being healthy scratches in the press box most nights.

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These are my immediate picks from AHL level who I think would be able to provide any injury cover over the season, if called upon. Just so you can see the numbers and make comparisons to others, if they ever need chopping and changing. The defenders seem more of an unlikely option, and you’ll see why in just a moment, but the forwards anyway seem more likely to fill in. Well, maybe not Kyle Beach for that amount of money, but he’s listed anyway just for reference.

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Now, the main event. I’ll be presenting 4 scenarios. The first one being unlikely for an obvious reason, which I’ll get to, but the other 3 seem viable enough that they could happen. As per the Committed Indians article I read earlier, I’m using a salary cap of $62M as a basis. Could be more (likely), could be less (doubt it). For the sake of argument, every RFA on the Blackhawks gets re-signed. From what I’ve seen all season, they’re all quality players, and I’ll be gutted if any of them leave.

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SCENARIO 1

EVERYONE RE-SIGNS

This is the one that I don’t think is likely to happen. Mainly because, going on my estimated pay rises, this will put us slightly over the salary cap if things stay as they are. Now, a few notes I have to make about this that I perhaps didn’t consider when I made this spreadsheet for myself.

1. Nick Leddy’s contract is 2-way, which gives him free movement to the Icehogs and back. Now, while it seems like he’s going to be on the Hawks for the rest of this season, and the early part of next season (depending on whether or not Hendry either recoveres from injury, or is re-signed), this could be a huge factor next year should everyone be re-signed.
2. Jordan Hendry’s contract is (as far as I know) also 2-way. If he gets offered a new contract at the end of the season, there’s a pretty good chance he’ll want a 1-way since he’s established himself on the team. However with Campoli in, who indeed may not be re-signed, since he was essentially Hendry’s injury cover, he may look for regular ice time elsewhere.

Which leads us to…

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SCENARIO 2

HENDRY ISN’T RE-SIGNED

This seems pretty viable if you ask me, and is the most likely of the 4 I’m presenting to happen. As Hendry’s been either a healthy scratch a lot of the time when the Hawks’ bill of health was clean, or even at times moved to the wing during an injury crisis, chances are that the guy’ll be looking for a more stable position on a team that can guarantee him some good TOI on a 2nd/3rd pairing. Since the Hawks bagged Campoli after Hendry got injured, and Leddy’s establishment as a team regular, it seems that Boynton’s release to the Flyers will become a moot point in the race for those 3rd pairing positions. Scott’s already contracted, and can play either D or wing if necessary, so the extra (projected) $800k on the salary cap may not be something Stan Bowman wants further down the stretch next season if there’s another injury worry close to the deadline and there’s not enough room to facilitate any serious movement.

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SCENARIO 3

KOPECKY ISN’T RE-SIGNED

This option I honestly don’t think will happen. Kopecky’s been doing really well for himself since Quenneville put together the Czechoslovakia line with Hossa and Frolik,  but next season, with 4 centers in place, I’d wager that the Hawks will want to keep the wingers playing on the wings at all times, and utilising centers for making plays, getting to the dirty areas and, importantly, winning faceoffs.

A point put forward by Tab in the comments on his original article, was that Kopecky would be able to get a matched-or-better deal from almost any other team in the league, and this situation is made to factor this in.

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SCENARIO 4

KOPECKY AND HENDRY BOTH LEAVE

Unlikely, but believable at the same time. Kopecky gets his improved contract and 2nd line minutes elsewhere, Hendry looks to not be a healthy scratch elsewhere. Leddy comes up full-time, we still have 6 defenders, Scott’s reserved as a utility guy for matches when he’s needed, and we still have roughly a million in wiggle room for mid-season trades or free agents.

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So yeah guys, I don’t know about you, but from where I’m sitting, there’s certainly not a lot to worry about here next season, barring a bunch of the RFAs decide not to pen new deals. Next year’s playoffs should be the target again, and with this side as it stands, it’s still a very achievable aim. So, don’t be reaching for that panic button yet.

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If you’re on Tumblr and want to share this post there, it can be reblogged here.

So yeah guys, here’s the t-shirt I won from Hockey Broad. And it’s about as big as my (Small) Hawks jersey. The shirt’s an XL. Eek indeed.

I don’t really care though, it’s fan-bloody-tastic. I love the graphic on the front of it, with everything coming together to describe what makes the champions champions, how it all forms perfectly around the Indianhead, some scattered black-and-red bands, the Tomahawks-and-C in the corner, and subtly, 4 dotted stars from the Flag of the City (although they’re 5-point stars instead of 6, it’s a petty thing and I’ll turn a blind eye to it ).

Jordan Hendry signed it just below the right shoulder, and John Scott signed it below the bottom left.

While it not get much air time in terms of me wearing it (I will try though, but I’m that damn wiry it’s really not feasible), the front graphic makes for one of those awesome motivational murals that you’d see on a wall at a practice rink or an arena, so it’d look totally awesome framed on my wall somewhere if I don’t wear it too often.

To put its size on me into perspective, the belt on my jeans is right on the “Resilience” at the bottom of the graphic. Honestly, I don’t care, it’s fantastic and I’m proud to have it, big, small or otherwise.

THANKS HOCKEY BROAD!

Corey Crawford

Yeah, yeah, call me a homer for putting him first on the list, but when you post 11-6-1 on your transition season, with above-league average of .916 save percentage, it’s hard to rule him out of contention for it. Seven of those wins were in a row too, so he’s definitely had some early season form on his side, while being aided by Marty Turco.

Anders Lindback

Lindback’s exploded onto the scene on his debut season, covering Pekka Rinne for 9-3-2 in 14 starts, with 2 shutouts posted. Largely helped by an improved Predators side that’s sitting 3rd in a fiercely competitive Central Division, he certainly seems like he could push for a starting position. Coupled with his ongoing battle with Adult-onset Still’s Disease, for which he needs daily injections just to stave off rheumatoid arthritis, it’s been an uphill battle for the Swede to get this far, let alone succeed.

Sergey Bobrovsky

Bob, as he’s simply known in the Flyers locker room, has been somewhat of a revelation for Philadelphia since coming into the league. With 15-5-3, and only one point off the Flyers at the top of the Atlantic, Bob was plucked from Metallurg Novokuznetsk in the KHL after his contract ended and fast-tracked his way to the Flyers starting lineup, denying Leighton and Boucher of the role. And the way he’s playing this year so far, you’d be hard-pressed to look elsewhere when picking out a breakout rookie.

PK Subban

PK Subban’s fast becoming (to put it colloquially) a bit of a Marmite player – you either love him, or you hate him. There’s no gray area with PK – Pernell Karl, though he says it stands for “Penalty Kill” – who’s attracting a lot of heat from just about everywhere in the world of hockey. Whether it’s his swagger, his tough checking or his offensive capabilities, the Habs love to have him and the others hate it when he’s on the ice against them. He’s currently sitting on 11 points and sitting on 40 penalty minutes for the season.

John Carlson

John Carlson’s done well for himself on what’s recently been a sub-par Capitals side. +9 and 17 points in 37 games, and it’s easy to see why you’d put him in contention. He’s been a revelation in terms of being an offensive defenseman, currently leading the Caps’ in point totals for the season, and on pace for almost 40 points.

Jeff Skinner

With 24 points this season for the Carolina Hurricanes, Jeff Skinner’s another hot contender. Picked 7th overall in last year’s Entry Draft, the young right winger’s certainly showed that he doesn’t need much in the way of self-development, although another year or two could probably help his physical game out.

First things first, my order of business there: Eurogamer Expo 2010. I LOVED IT. I’ve got a few posts up over on Press X Or Die relating to them, all of which you can read here. I also got snapped by Red Lynx staff playing Trials HD (below), and heard id Software designer Tim Willits talk about upcoming title RAGE. Turns out I was sitting beside him for a few minutes a few moments before and never realized it was him until he got up and started talking. Side effect of being just a name behind the work rather than a public face that’s always caught on camera, like a Hideo Kojima or a Cliff Bleszinski or similar. Nonetheless, I facepalmed to myself once I realized the glorious moment I had to shake the guy’s hand. I mean, come on, he made Quake.

Where's Waldo?

The overall experience, for it being my first show, was rather overwhelming. I wasn’t expecting it to be as big as it was, considering how little attention it seemed to have outside of Eurogamer’s own site, but at the same time, there was a lot of empty floor space that could have been better utilized and had more games on show. I don’t know why Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood had as many screens as it did (There must have been a good 32 at LEAST), yet games like Brink with its hour-long queue only had one small section with about 8, and worse again, games like the new Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, and Goldeneye Wii, only got ONE SCREEN EACH. Crazy.

Games of the show have to be the ones I have already posted above about, with the exception of Gran Turismo 5. I can’t nominate it for a “Game of the Show” when it really doesn’t bring in anything new and immediate to the table, as well as forces only a 2 minute demo before resetting itself. Seriously Polyphony? TWO MINUTES? That’s not even a 2-lap race! WHAT THE HELL MAN. It doesn’t help my opinion of it, and its players, when 90% (exaggerated estimate, but definitely the vast majority) of other players never used the brake button ONCE. Oh yes, THOSE driving game players. Newsflash guys, Need For Speed was on the far side of the hall. That was my game of the show, I had so much fun playing that, and I’m definitely picking it up. Other honourable mentions go to Rock Band 3 (some really enthusiastic reps working the stage all weekend, hats off to them for being the most helpful guys there), Gears of War 3‘s new Beast Mode, Killzone 3, Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood, and Little Big Planet 2. Oh, and CaptainCortez from Capcom-Unity, who stole Saturday’s hearts by going in as Chuck Greene from Dead Rising 2 (which wasn’t at the event, boo!)

On to the rest of the holiday then. Thursday was basically spent wandering around the city with no real aims or purposes. I basically used the time to reacquaint myself with the city, and also map out my ideal way to travel to and from the expo (without realizing that the Earls Court Exhibition Centre is right at the entrance of the Underground station, derp), and also used the time to prepare myself mentally by taking in an Edge magazine sitting in Green Park for an hour or so just relaxing. The evening I spent sitting in watching Liverpool play against FC Utrecht in the Europa League. And by watching I mean I slept for a bit during the second half, what a snoozefest. Boring game of footy.

Monday was quite the event for me because it was my first time being in London during a Tube strike. I’d gone up to Oxford Street to do a bit of looking around different stores and pick up a few new threads, and wound up having to walk a fair chunk of the way home. I ended up walking from Oxford Circus, to the Marble Arch, back past Oxford Street to Tottenham Court Road, and down to Trafalgar Square before getting a series of buses back to Hammersmith. This isn’t easy when you’re carrying 5 heavy books, and a heavy coat, in the most awkwardest of Uniqlo carrier bags.

Tuesday I’d met up with an old acquaintance of mine from the prime of my time around the Football Manager community, Q, and we basically talked about football and other non-related rubbish for about 2 hours in Starbucks offering up snarky commentary on passers-by and lamenting the old days when the fan sites weren’t all at each other’s throats (effectively seeing me leaving forum moderating behind me). It was a great way to end the week, I have to say.

So… there you have it.

Many regard it as one of cinema’s greatest masterpieces. I’d heard about it. It created a meme. It’s intro music has been used in pro wrestling for nearly 4 decades. But I’d never seen it before. Not until last night.

Stanley Kubrick’s “2001: A Space Odyssey”. A movie I went into near-blind, only knowing as much about what happens as you could grasp from a trailer or an advertisement. And my oh my was I astounded by what I saw. It literally shook me to the core, but more on that later.

This post will inevitably contain spoilers. Proceed at your own risk if you haven’t already seen the movie, but I highly recommend that you see it first.

The start of the movie was pretty slow, but given that it was a prologue of the events to come (I use that very, very loosely) I was willing to give it a chance. Knowing how highly people regard Kubrick, I figured at this point that he wouldn’t have included it if it wasn’t deemed relevant. And it was, particularly the last few scenes of the section, where the initial setup and perhaps the key theme is first introduced.

Onto Act 2, and the main setup for the events to come, and things started picking up a little bit as the main setting was established. Again, we see the same setup we did in Act 1, but again, no immediate explanation for it, and very little extra knowledge of why it’s there or what it’s purpose is.

Act 3 is where the meat of the story happens: the actual space mission, the titular “odyssey”, with astronauts Dave Bowman and Frank Poole, along with 3 cryogenically sleeping scientists, on a mission to Jupiter, on which they haven’t been entirely briefed upon. They are accompanied by HAL 9000, a supercomputer capable of human thought, decision-making and emotion. HAL is the only one that knows the full detail of the mission, and has been assigned to brief the others upon reaching proximity of their destination. However, knowing what the mission entails, he fabricates an error in a communications module, and instructs the astronauts to repair the fault. Sensing that nothing’s wrong, Dave and Frank conspire against HAL and plan to shut it down. However, HAL lip-reads and plans his own revenge against them, to try to save himself and preserve the mission.

Frank goes out as instructed to repair the communications link and is killed by HAL, and Dave goes out to try to rescue him as he’s floating through space. As he’s out there, HAL locks down the ship and terminates the life support for the still-sleeping scientists, killing them also. Dave finds a way back in through the manual airlock, and shuts down HAL by force, prompting it to convey the message detailing the mission and why they were sent in secrecy.

Dave proceeds with the mission alone and.. well, I’ll not ruin that for you.

I watched this for the first time and the first thing I noticed was that the choice of music really made the whole thing come together. From the opening music before the film even starts, to its notable use of Also Sprach Zarathustra in both its intro, outro, and select moments throughout the movie, and its use of The Blue Danube (which pretty much forever associated that classical piece with space travel and the concept of weightlessness), the sound is what really makes the movie, given how very sparse dialog can be in it. Those and others really come together to set the atmosphere (or lack thereof, it’s space, remember?) and really help make the movie what it is.

The visuals appeared to me to be somehow quasi-dated. Some of them are really dated, yet some of them are really ahead of its time. The first is the almost seamless transition between Acts 1 and 2. It’s a scene that really speaks a lot of volume about Kubrick’s thoughts at the time about history and its irrelevance in modern, and in effect, futuristic times. As well as that, the rotation of the camera and perception of gravity were pretty ahead of its time, and certainly makes the likes of Inception’s “city folding in on itself” and walking 90 degrees up walls look less impressive, considering that Kubrick done this all 40 years ago with very little input from computers. However, the notions and appearances, especially the outer space stuff, and Frank floating through space after HAL having killed him, do look dated and, dare I say, unrealistic. Hey come on, I’ve not been in space, I’m no judge on what looks authentic or not in that respect!

The ending though.. oh my. Literally at points throughout the movie, I clammed up in fear, not knowing what was going to happen or what to expect. Some choice words I tweeted at the time were: “Hairs on my back are tingling, my palms have seen more moisture than Africa has all year”. I literally have never felt like this watching ANY movie before. That’s how I know that this is special. Sure there’s other movies that cash in on fear and terror, but they’re usually the ones that are out for a quick shock and a cheap thrill, you know they’ll happen before you even watch, they’re the movie’s subject title, or the obvious basis of events that you can see coming a mile off. But this was.. different.

I really could not have predicted how this movie panned out, aside from the parts about HAL that I’d already read about in magazine columns and blogs long before I even watched it. I was genuinely scared at points where the movie had developed such a rapid pace that i thought one of these cheap thrills was coming but it just kept accelerating to the point where it hit a brick wall, and the last 10 minutes really drove it home, what the real message and story of the movie is. That was a point where I was truly scared, as it moved to an unfamiliar environment, where neither you or the character had any knowledge of what was going on, and was stumbling through his own thoughts to comprehend the situation before it finally clicked.

I thought I’d struggle to find the words to describe what I saw, but clearly it’s almost the polar opposite. I can’t get its thoughts and themes out of my head, I’m literally shuddering at the thought of it, but at the strange time, I really want to watch it again, just to see if the experience is any different at the beginning knowing what I know from seeing the movie from start to finish, knowing what it’s really about, and what message it’s trying to convey.

Those are the exact words you hear every time it comes up to around the 8th of October. That magical time of the year when the Zambonis are serviced, the skates sharpened, the sticks flexed, and the bodies checked. Oh yes, October means only one thing: hockey is BACK.

I’ve been a fan of hockey for about 9 years now, after playing a chance demo of NHL 2001 on the PS2 (I’ve just reviewed the latest iteration, NHL 11 over on Press X Or Die if you’re interested in that). It’s a game that captivated me at the time: high-action, high-tempo, high-contact sport, miles away from football (that’s soccer), yet still required a great deal of knowledge of specific rules as to how you can and can’t hit, pass and so on. There’s always so much happening that it’s kinda hard to keep up with, but enough to keep you at the edge of your seat instead of sitting through say, 70 minutes of build-up and only 20 minutes worth of serious offense.

With the season being only a few weeks old though, I must have a bit of concern over these rules on the hitting. As much as I like the heavy-handedness of hockey, some of what I’ve witnessed this season’s been above and beyond what’s necessary. A lot of rough hits, fights and injuries, and controversy. Time to have a look at some of these bruise bringers.

First up, of the games I’ve seen, let’s go to Chicago vs Buffalo.

Chicago defenseman Niklas Hjalmarsson’s hit on Jason Pomminville of the Buffalo Sabres.

Now while you might think that Pomminville may have seen Hjalmarsson coming out of the corner of his eye and maybe could have avoided it, surely the argument should be that Hjalmarsson could have avoided hitting him at all. First rule about hitting: if you can read the guy’s name and number on his back, then you shouldn’t be going for the check. Hitting from behind’s cheap and unsportsmanlike, and the victim hasn’t got the chance to brace himself for the impact, as evidenced by his head taking a violent bounce off the plexiglass, knocking him clean out and needing a stretcher to cart him off the ice. A game misconduct, 5 for boarding and an additional 2-game suspension for that seems about right. Just punishment in an effort to keep this nastiness out of the game.

In the same game, we had this crunch from Tyler Myers on Fernando Pisani:

That looked a bit rougher than what was necessary, but given that tempers were flaring in the wake of the earlier hit from Hjalmarsson, you can bet both teams weren’t exactly all buddy-buddy.

In the return game, we had this hit from Kim Johnsson:

OUCH.

A few days later we had the Phoenix Coyotes visiting the Honda Center in Anaheim to face the Ducks, and Shane Doan was laying the smackdown against a team he’s known to hate:

This is borderline stuff, because I think Cam Fowler may have tripped over his own feet on the way into the net, but Doan’s knee and the ever-unforgiving boards don’t exactly do you any favours. In fact, just looking back at it again, I think it was the keeper that tripped him on a poke check to try to trap the puck for himself. It looked like it couldn’t be helped, but nonetheless that’s dangerous play to board someone like that (intentionally or not) and he could have been seriously injured, as evidenced by the way his helmet popped off on impact.

That’s just within 3 games of action, imagine what I could come up with if I watched every game every week? Now I know ice hockey’s a physically demanding game, both over the space of 3 20-minute periods (+ possible overtime of 5), and multiply that by an 82-game season, factor in the playoffs and you know that you really have to give up a lot of your body to make it in the NHL. Duncan Keith, 2010 Norris Trophy and Stanley Cup winner, lost 7 teeth to a stray slapshot in the playoffs last year, and laughed it off like it was nothing. That is what winning means to these guys, that they’d give it up, broken teeth, cracked ribs, concussions, whatever. These guys are tough nuts, and they could certainly show the prima-donnas of the Premier League a thing or two when it comes with putting up with a little bit of physicality in sports.

This is Tay Zonday. You may recognise him for his music career he launched on the back of his successful YouTube videos, namely Chocolate Rain. Yesterday, he got banned from Facebook. And this has conspiracy written all over it.

This is the e-mail that Tay received and posted to his Twitter account yesterday, along with a long list of complaints about how heavy-handed, draconian, and downright wrong it is that he got banned.

Facebook’s Terms of Use however, states:-

“4. Registration and Account Security
Facebook users provide their real names and information, and we need your help to keep it that way. Here are some commitments you make to us relating to registering and maintaining the security of your account:

1. You will not provide any false personal information on Facebook, or create an account for anyone other than yourself without permission.

….”

Perhaps the fact that his real name (at least according to Wikipedia) is Adam Bahner, and Tay Zonday is a stage name, was his eventual downfall. But that’s not the point. The point here is, is that Facebook have already deemed him guilty and the reasoning for the ban, as well as any appeals for it to be lifted, will be guaranteed to fall on deaf ears. That Facebook’s security won’t even sit down, open up a dialog with him and explain what exactly he did wrong, is irksome. I know if I got the boot for something I didn’t know I done, but was accused of doing, and hadn’t even a chance to explain my actions, I’d be rather annoyed too, to put it in more generous terms.

The e-mail suggests that it’s because he tried to add people as friends that he didn’t know. Now this is a problem. How does Facebook know whether he knows them or not? Is this really a new super Internet Big Brother state? Is 1984 in effect now? I don’t know, but if it is I want out. Screw using it to advertise the blog, I want out (which I heard voluntarily deleting your account is hard enough as it is with all the hoops you’re made to jump through, as well as the guilt-tripping).

Maybe they should look at their own core of social network gamers they have. Look at all the group pages and fan pages where you can add any number of strangers as friends just to boost your game’s numbers. How’s about shutting them down for breaking 4:1 as well? No, because they know one person is smaller than having a large scale riot of MILLIONS of FarmVille players and Mafia Wars players if they shut the plant down on item trading groups, not to mention losing money from investors banking on the success of the apps and games on-site by removing a large portion of the (probably paying) audience.

But I cannot see why they’d shut down a guy’s personal profile just because he’s using it to promote his YouTube videos. Will they shut me down for promoting my blogs now on my personal page too? Or do you have to “like” James Henderson before he is allowed to do anything on Facebook that constitutes advertising?

There’ll be a hell of a lot to cover over the 3 days of the weekend so I’ll barely have a moment to myself, such is the hecticity of taking constant physical notes when attending talks and playing demos, then transcribing those audio logs and scribblings into coherent blog posts when I get home in the evenings. So yeah, while it kinda does feel like a holiday (since I’ll be surrounded by videogames for at least 7 hours in the day for 3 days) I’ll be stressing out making sure I missed something, trying to keep up with my own schedule – yes, I have my whole 3 days timetabled with what to play and when to play it – and making sure I take enough notes and observations away from each experience. All this, and still no laptop to work from, only my iPod Touch and a camera. It’s going to be pure madness!

I’ve my bag packed and ready, only a few duds with me (because I’m anticipating a swag flood, same as any show like Penny Arcade Expos, Gamescom and the like) and I’m all revved up and good to go! So who all’s going then? If you are, hit me up on Twitter (@jayc4life) and be sure to say hi and have a chat or something!

Him: Hey
Me: Hey, what’s up? Long time no speak!
Him: Just finished watching Family Guy saeson 9, you?
Me: Well, since I last saw you I dropped out of college, started writing a gaming blog, got picked up by another blog, am struggling finding work days at my day job, and somehow can still afford to go to London next week.
Him: Not so bad.

[/conversation]
[rant]

Hey dude, you’re probably not reading this (in fact, the likelihood of you finding this blog post is about zero), but take one look at this conversation. Look at it long and hard.

I haven’t seen or talked to you in almost a year, maybe more. And that’s all the news you got for me in the space of ~12 months? Sorry dude, but that just puts things into perspective. You could have had an awesome answer in there, regardless of whether it’s good or bad, but I asked what’s up with you, and the only answer I got was Family Guy. See, this is exactly why I haven’t talked to you in so long. Because you don’t have anything interesting, relevant or funny to say.

Let this be an example of bad use of instant messaging, and getting in touch with someone from your past. You know, it wouldn’t have been that bad if the conversation had went on from there (in fact it did a little (emphasis on little)) but that was as good as it got. In fact he went on to say he was talking to me because one of his other friends had gone quiet on him for a few minutes. Gee, way to slap a guy in the face! I didn’t want or need to know that, so now I’m not first priority? But wow. I’m still reeling over that bomb. Not like I knew you that well, but yeah. When you haven’t bothered to get in touch for a while and never answer your texts or anything else, then you lay this on me, there’s a good reason I stopped trying and stopped bothering.

It’s the proverbial school reunion scenario. You see people you haven’t seen in a long time, you expect to hear what they’ve been doing with their lives, not what they just watched on TV. That’s just being lazy. Thanks but no thanks. But I think I’ll be better off not talking to you for another year again, after all, what all interesting could happen between now and then that you could omit to tell me in favour of what was just on TV or what you just had for dinner?

The other side

Applied some pressure

Momentum was gained.

Expansion occurred

As the area surrounding

Started to give way

It begins.

Slowly it widens

Until forced the full way

Pinhole no more

Large scale erosion.

No further resistance

The flow advances

The dam walls burst.

I cried when you left.

Back in Schell’s talk (cropped for relevancy below), he talked about how daily life normal stuff could eventually, with the right tech, be likened to a game, where we get rewarded for doing everyday stuff with experience points and level ourself up. Life’s little achievements, if you wish. Wake up, eat your breakfast. Did you brush your teeth before going to work? Yes? BOOM! +50 XP! Did you shower? Yes? +100 XP! Got lunch at the same place all week? LOYALTY BONUS! +200 XP! That’s basically Epic Win in a nutshell.

Epic Win, designed by Rex Crowie and developed by Supermono, takes a lot from these 10 minutes, and converts them into the most fun to-do list you could possibly have. I’ve only had it for a few days but the amount of things I’ve got done since I got it has been jaw-dropping. While it’s nothing major or anything, I’ve added in usual mundane chores in my list at 50 XP each (tasks can go from 50 to 300 depending on how epic they are in your estimation, of course you can cheat by setting every task at the 300 maximum, but that’s not how I roll), and surprisingly I’ve gotten more of them done, just to pick up the cheap bonus at the end, getting myself to do and track even the smallest of things, like washing dishes, tidying my room, walking the dog, actually spending time exercising.. the list goes on, and it only stops when you stop adding things to it.

Of course, if you use it wrong and cheat just to see everything, you obviously fail at life (failing being not winning, and you can’t Epic Win without even a regular win), so the idea is to give you an incentive to do something that you may or may not normally do. Set it up on your list, give it a priority (amount of XP granted upon completion), and go and do it. I’ve got most of my side assignments from work, as well as a few blog-centric tasks, chores and stuff set up for the next 2 weeks, with more points emphasis on the important stuff so that I won’t forget to do it, or get it done quicker. (true story, I was supposed to type this up yesterday, it’s actually in my overdue list of tasks) It doesn’t penalize you for doing it late, but seeing a big “1″ over the app icon indicating there’s something I didn’t do just motivates you to get rid of it for some reason. A bit like having 0 unread e-mails or Facebook notifications.

The characters are really well drawn, look funny, and certainly fit the RPG theme they’re trying to go for. You can choose from a handful of starter avatars, that have rubbish weapons and armour, but over time, they will improve as you level up and unlock new loot, as well as progress your 5 main skill areas (Strength, Stamina. Intellect, Social and Spirit, which you can designate one category to every task) which change your class description. I’ve not done a hell of a lot, and no major tasks that would cause me to level up, so I’m still a lowly Level 1 Stumpy Dwarven Miscreant, wielding a small and flimsy wooden shield and a yard broom. But some day, I’m going to want that broadsword or battle-axe and hoping for it is what will push me to kick on and do things for my XP.

I only called it a “useless” app in the opening paragraph because I feel that an app like this shouldn’t exist. We should be doing all these things without the need of extra motivation from an application, without incentives or bonuses. It doesn’t stop me from enjoying it, and it being a fun way of getting things done, but if you’re already an organised sort of person, this probably isn’t for you. If however you’re a lazy sod like me though, that needs a good reason to do anything at all, then the small payment will be a drop in the ocean compared to the way you change your daily habits for the better – or if you’re feeling cheeky, for the worst!

It’s €2.39 in the Irish App Store anyway, it will obviously vary depending on country and currency, but for the amount of mundane stuff you’ll do to unlock new things, it’s well worth it. I’ll leave you with the app’s trailer, it’s available now, and I’m going to go cash in this task for my 150 XP.

The debris from a car accident where - luckily - 7 people escaped with their lives. Image credit: TV3/The Irish Times

As an Irishman, it’s pretty much a rare occasion when you go a week without hearing of an accident on our country’s roads. Many of which involve people under the age of 25, with the majority of that sector again being under the age of 20. What is it with teenagers and going too fast and too dangerous on roads? Do they have a death wish of sorts?

Kevin Myers from the Irish Independent published a fantastic piece about this in last Thursday’s Irish Independent (you can read it online in its entirety here), claiming that if speeding on the road wasn’t made out to be as glamorous as it’s made out to be, and their deaths and funerals weren’t highly publicised (at least at national level in the media), perhaps they’d think twice about doing it. And I have to say, he’s bang-on.

The above intro picture is from a car accident last Monday morning (30th August, 2010) in Foxford, Co. Mayo. 7 people were in that Opel Astra (yes, hard to believe we can still tell what it is by looking at the wreckage). Seven people. In a five-seater car. Where’s the common sense here? It happened at 4:45am in the morning on the way back from a party. Where undoubtedly, the driver could have taken the safe option and done two car runs safely instead of one and nearly wiping out everyone. Last month, in my own Co. Donegal, 8 died in an accident in Inishowen, with 7 of those being crammed into a Volkswagen Passat. Seriously? 7 in a Passat? They were just asking for it.

You know, I usually would have felt a certain degree of sympathy for car accident victims. But these days, it seems that they are just out looking for the accidents, instead of looking to avoid them. 7 in a 5 seater car is not only adding extra weight which could be dangerous to the car, lowering it, and possibly forcing the tyres to scrape the wheel arches, which could cause a puncture and again, an eventual accident. As well as that, with all those people crammed in, trying to see out the rear view mirror amidst a mess of bodies akimbo in the back seat must be a nightmare. So yeah, I have no sympathy for these folk at all. And I implore them to continue their ways.

Yes. keep on causing awful pain and suffering to yourself (if you survive), those around you, their families, and whole communities. Keep on pushing up our insurance premiums and proving that people our age aren’t fit and responsible enough to drive. Maybe if the insurance and tax was a bit more expensive maybe these fools wouldn’t be able to afford to get and keep a car on the road. You never see me complaining that something’s too cheap, but in this I’ll take an exception. Let natural selection weed out the deadwood and untrustworthy drivers from our roads. If they haven’t the common sense to be responsible about having the health and safety of others in their trust, then they don’t deserve to be given a chance at life. Even if they did survive, what’d become of them? Life in jail for mass vehicular manslaughter? In fact, that’d be a worse fate, because then you have to live with the guilt and shame on your conscience, and that’s a far worse test of character than just giving up and dying.

Harsh words, but damn it if they’re not necessary. Drivers and passengers both should be subject to this. If you’re stupid enough to ride in an overcrowded car to begin with, you don’t deserve the sympathy if you end up in hospital when saying “no” was a much easier and safer alternative.

I’m not going to win any fans by saying any of this. But it needs to be said by someone of my own age, and hopefully someone will see that it’s not just the older folk ragging on about “kids these days” and just hating young people for being young and foolish.

Some say… that he’s a failed scientific experiment to bring back Ayrton Senna from beyond the grave (?)… and that he survived 2 weeks in a gym bag in training for MI-6, but rejected it, as talking was part of the job description… All we know is, he’s called…

Ben Collins?

The 16-year motorsport veteran and stunt driver was unveiled today after his victory in court – albeit in proper suit and not the racing suit he’s more famous for – allowed the autobiography he had penned about his experiences on Top Gear to go ahead, after the BBC had ordered him to block its release, claiming that it would go against the character of the Stig by revealing himself, as he had been paid to remain anonymous about his role.

The Stig’s character is unique on Top Gear, as the main draw about him is that he’s always completely anonymous, never speaks, and nobody knows anything about him, giving the presenters to conjure up their own Stig Facts when introducing him. Fans have long wondered who played the role of the Stig ever since the original Stig, Perry McCarthy (below), was forced out of the job for, not coincidentally, writing a book and outing himself as The Stig.

The question now remains though.. How will Collins’ Stig be forced off the show, and who will now take up the Stig’s role on Top Gear? McCarthy – who portrayed the first incarnation of The Stig (known now as Black Stig for the colour of his racing gear) – was forced off the show in an incident involving a Jaguar and the HMS Invincible aircraft carrier (which you can see below). You have to wonder, how can they possibly top that for an exit? We’ll soon see..

Now, the reason I bring this up, is because Top Gear, The Stig, and the Test Track are scheduled to appear in Gran Turismo 5 this November. White Stig (Collins) has already been modeled and shown in trailer footage. So what now? Will he have to be taken out and replaced because he’s not on the show any more? Or at this late stage before release, will they keep him in, bearing in mind that no “new Stig” has been announced or shown since Collins’ departure, so they have no info to base a replacement off? This isn’t the first dilemma Polyphony Digital are facing, because in one of their new tracks based in Siena, Italy, the unlicensed use of the 17 Contrade flags and banners has kicked up a fuss with conflicting rights issues with the Palio di Siena, a horse race through the city streets that happens twice a year, and they are being threatened with legal action if they aren’t removed before the game’s release.

American Football. Ask anyone I know and there’ll be a high chance that nobody likes it, or nobody understands it, so something like that. I was like that too. Until about 2 weeks ago.

Talking to a few of my American friends online, they were naturally amped for the release of the newest Madden NFL game, counting down the days to Madden Tuesday, one of the most popular non-holidays of the year, and the one day that the rate of calling into work sick skyrockets off the charts. EA were counting down to it as well, and celebrated the release in lavish fashion with Madden Gras (a play on Mardi Gras) in New Orleans, home of current NFL champions, the Saints. I had to get in on the action. I had to figure out Football.

Now I’ve watched a Superbowl or 2 on TV and not known what the hell is going on, and why there are so many damn stoppages in play, and a plethora of ads during them. I get why the advertising’s such a big deal for this one night of the year (the Superbowl is often the highest rated show of the year, so mass exposure’s the key), but never understood the appeal of the spectacle.

So with that in mind, I took to the greatest sports educator I could think of: videogames. Figuring that I’d understand it a damn sight better if I was involved, I downloaded this year’s Madden NFL 11 demo and gave it a go. And LOVED IT.

As what happened me in the early days of the PS2 when I stumbled and fell in love with ice hockey through a chance encounter with an NHL demo, the same happened here. I understood why they stand at the line of scrimmage. Why they stopped after every tackle, why the deep passes are so awesome when they land.

Football’s pretty much a game of set pieces. To put it in the context of a conventional video game, it’s almost like a turn based strategy game. You just have to play your plans better than the opposition plays theirs. That’s all there is to it. It’s a game of both brains and muscle, but to a lot of outsiders they just see the big bulky guys charging at each other and tackling that they fail to look beyond that and see the planning that goes behind it. I sure did.

To put it in simple terms, football’s not all as bad as some of us non-Americans make it out to be. It’s why the sport is starting to get a huge following even outside of the US, why the NFL are even bringing some marquee matches abroad to tap into that new audience. It’s certainly not justified of all the “lol handegg” jokes us Europeans always throw at it – just because our football (Association Football/Soccer) is different. It’s pretty enjoyable, at least in video game terms. Whether or not watching it is like that, that’s yet to be determined, now that I’m armed with these new insights.

Oh, and the title’s a reference to a line in The Longest Yard. I tried looking for a clip of it being said, but no joy.

• The infamous Duke Nukem Forever legal battle is over, and work on the game can resume if so desired by 3D Realms
• Chicago Blackhawks centre Jonathan Toews has been confirmed as the cover athlete on EA Sports’ NHL 11
• Sony announced they’re killing the Eye Of Judgment’s online servers in September
• An online store in the UK was taking a Fable 3 preorder for a whopping £925 (UPDATE – Since I’ve written that, they’ve removed it)
• Lara Croft & The Guardian of Light sees its release as the main event during the Xbox Summer of Arcade
• And lastly, Famitsu Magazine revealed new info on Monster Hunter Freedom 3

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